Why Using a Wheelchair Doesn’t Make You a Fraud

🌈 Dancing, Disability, and the Power of Changing Your Mind

Last week, I was recovering from a migraine after standing in the sun for just an hour during a singing performance. Something that should’ve been joyful ended up wiping me out.

I’ve been in the middle of a flare with EDS, POTS, endometriosis, hormone treatment, and a knee injury that swelled badly after standing too long at Pride. Add in daily headaches, joint pain, and trying to balance my treatment plan. It’s been a lot.

And now I’m facing something I know many people with dynamic or invisible disabilities will understand:

Should I use a wheelchair at Manchester Pride?

It feels like such a big decision. I’ve worked hard to improve my mobility. I run Mobilates, a social enterprise that supports people with chronic illness through accessible movement. And I want to dance at Pride, not feel like a spectator.

But the truth is, I’ve been really struggling physically. If using a wheelchair means I can actually go, take part, and maybe even dance a little, then it’s not giving up. It’s giving myself the best chance to enjoy the day.

Still, it’s complicated. There’s a part of me that worries what others will think:

• Will people assume I’m “faking” if they see me standing up from a chair?

• Will they judge me for being out at Pride but needing a mobility aid?

• Will it make me feel like everything I’ve worked for has been undone?

But here’s what I keep reminding myself and what I want to share in case you need to hear it too:

🔴 Using a mobility aid doesn’t make you a fraud.

✅ It makes you thoughtful.

✅ It makes you responsive.

✅ It makes you free.

Disability is dynamic and that’s okay.

Some days I can walk short distances. Some days I can’t. That doesn’t mean I’m faking, and it doesn’t mean I’m “not disabled enough.” Using a wheelchair or any aid is just another way of supporting myself and protecting my energy.

It’s a pacing strategy. It’s a safety measure. It’s self-care.

And if you’re ever judged for using an aid, or not using one, I hope you know that the problem isn’t you. It’s the world not understanding that disability doesn’t always look the same. And it doesn’t need to.

What I’m telling myself before Pride:

• “I’m not weak for needing support, I’m wise for knowing what I need.”

• “My mobility aid helps me be there, not stay home.”

• “I can use it when I need it and move without it when I can.”

And if someone sees me dancing and then sitting down in a wheelchair… that’s fine. That’s my reality. I don’t owe anyone an explanation.

Here’s one of the lines I’m keeping in my pocket if anyone does question it:

“Disability isn’t fixed, it changes all the time. I sit when I need to and dance when I can. That’s called disability multitasking.”

To anyone else feeling this way:

If you’re currently in a flare, if you’re dreading the logistics of an event, or if you’re unsure whether you “deserve” to use mobility support, I want you to know this:

You’re not alone. You don’t have to push through pain to prove something. And there is no shame in using a tool that helps you access joy.

If it helps you be there, you’re not faking it. You’re making it possible.

About Mobilates

At Mobilates, we support people with chronic illness and disability to move in ways that work for them. Whether you’re exercising from bed, pacing with mobility aids, or just surviving a flare, we believe you are already enough. Movement should feel like support, not punishment.

We’re here to help you find your way through it, without judgement or shame, just community, choice, and care.

www.mobilates.com

Follow us on social media or reach out to share your story.

Let’s keep the conversation going:

• Have you ever struggled with using a mobility aid?

• Do you feel pressure to “perform” your disability a certain way?

• What helps you feel confident in your own choices?

Share your thoughts in the comments or drop me a message. You never know who else it might help feel seen.